Civil Exam

I think it's normal before any major life decision or well any "big" move forwards in life it's normal to become a little restless the night before. For me it's not just a restless night; it's tossing and turning, an upset stomach, high blood pressure, just full blown anxiety, and overall just a feeling of dread.

Today, January 10, 2017, I take my civil exam for the Fort Worth Police Academy. Now the Civil Exam is just a test with apparently no wrong answers, but just a view on how you would handle certain situations. So for someone who has text anxiety as well (yay for me!) I'm about to sit down in front of a multiple questions test that has four to five answers - and none of them are wrong!

Jesus.

I also learned in an email beforehand that today will also be the physical test as well. Now I've stopped working out for a while (cough cough, maybe a year or two), but I have kept in shape by being physically active most days. Not I've stopped lifting, unless I'm at work, and I occasionally do a 30-day fit challenge - but it's nothing serious (currently in a 30 day squat challenge with Aubrey).

I would be lying right now if I told you I wasn't anxious about the physical exam. I'm like nail-biting, sweating over here in my chair since about 5am. My test isn't until 9am. I've at least eatin' some oatmeal. Yeah, three packets - oh well. The big concern for me about this test isn't the running, climbing, pulling, or shooting - it's the time limit. You have to complete their physical assessment test in 2:34 seconds. That's right.. You have two minutes and thirty-four seconds to complete their test, and the best part is, you have two chances. After that you're done - sorry you tried your best, but you just aren't physically cut out for it.

Now Robert and I practiced cocking a gun and reloading a clip at home on Saturday. He unloaded the gun for me and let me practice a bit. The hardest part for me, besides using a lefty's handgun and it weighing about 20 pounds, was actually cocking the gun the way he wanted me to. Eventually we got on the same page with an easier way of cocking it for me, and one that was actually allowed. Needless to say, I'm still a bit worried about actually firing a gun today. I'm worried about if I'm going to be the one who has to load and reload it, cock it, blah blah blah. All that fun jazz. Robert's best advice to me was to remember that I've at least fired a gun at a firing range, and that some of the people coming today have never held or fired a gun in their life. That gave me some comfort, but I'm literally a ball full of anxiety.  My Garmin is telling me right now that my pulse is 92. It's at 92 and I'm just sitting here writing a blog post.

I'm so not ready for this.